


this world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me

by crack_rock



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Adoption, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Kid Fic, M/M, Mild Smut, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 09:28:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5370254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crack_rock/pseuds/crack_rock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>Their</em> shared living room, Nick reminds himself. Louis and him have an apartment, they're thinking of having babies. Babies. That's insane. Nick could have a child of his own by this time next year, and that's just. It's just.<br/> </p><p>"I love you," Louis finally says, "a lot. you're my favorite person in the whole world." His cheeks are tinted pink and he's looking at Nick like he did when Nick first told Louis he loved him. It makes him feel good, feels so good he could explode. He wants this, so bad. Wants to be a dad with the person that means the absolute world to him. For once in Nick's life, he feels like he's ready, ready to be a soccer dad with a white picket fence and a mini van, he's so ready. Nick reaches across the table to grab Louis fidgety hand and squeezes it, "let's have a baby, Baby."</p>
            </blockquote>





	this world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me

**Author's Note:**

> i posted this over a year ago and just decided to look at it again and realized how not-edited it was. like im pretty sure i wrote it in a day and posted it the next day and didnt even read over it which says a lot about me. uhhhhhhhhhhhh other than that i have nothing to say i hope you have a gr8 day and like this fic even though it vaguely sux! thnx!

Nick _hates_ soggy bread.

"I hate soggy bread," he says to a barely listening Louis. Half asleep in a diner that has about three working lights. It also smells vaguely like steamed broccoli and if there's one thing Nick hates more than soggy bread it's steamed broccoli. Unless there's maybe cheese on top.

"Smells like steamed broccoli in here and not the good kind", Louis mumbles in between a bite of his rather large cheeseburger. Nick gets a little creeped out that Louis just read his mind so he starts thinking about Harry's curls. Louis gives him a raise brow and goes back to his meal.

Well then.

It's quiet between the two of them now, feels like it's been the first quiet moment they've had in weeks when in reality it's just been the past four days that have been absolutely hectic. Bloody Harry Styles and his bloody "good idea" to have all of his friends camp out in the middle of the bloody forest. Nick doesn't do nature, unless it's in pictures or it's a potted plant. Louis all but forced him to go with a sad face and a lap dance. 

Unbelievable.

 Nick has bug bites in places he doesn't want to think about, he shifts uncomfortably in his chair and makes a pouty face. He knows he's doing it, wants Louis to pay attention to him, so he sighs loudly and clanks his fork on table. 

Louis pays no attention to him.

The thing about having a boyfriend for like, four years now, is that Nick knows Louis so well and Louis knows Nick so well so Louis knows that Nick wants Louis to pay attention to him but Nick knows that Louis won't do it because Louis can't go through the day without slightly annoying Nick until he's twitching at least once.

"Nicholas Grimshaw,"

"Yes, love"

"I think I wanna have a baby,"

 Nick raises his eyebrows up to the ceiling. No, higher than that. The sky. The moon. Jupiter, for Christ's sake. Does that make sense? He raises them high, that's what he's trying to get at, his forehead wrinkles must look delightful.

 "A baby," Nick repeats. Louis is suddenly finding the table very, _very_ interesting. "Yes, a baby. Are you dumb? A child. A little human. Have you ever seen one? You're a godfather to about three thousand if you didn't know already."

 Louis' getting defensive and snappy and he's scared Nicks going to say no, he turns in on himself, eyes focused down on his plate. Nick knows French fries can't be that interesting, even if they do look quite good. Nick might have one if Louis lets him.

"Can I have a fry?" Nick asks, rubbing his chin, he hasn't shaved in 4 days, he feels like a bloody heathen.

"Seriously Nick?" Louis looks dangerous, this is never good. His jaw is kinda clenched and his left eye twitches a little. Nick loves Louis, he really does. Has for the past four years unconditionally, but he's always slightly afraid one day Louis will crack and snap his neck in half.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Right, babies. Uhm. Yes. Good, I'd love to have a baby with you. I'd look great pregnant, wouldn't I? Glowing skin and all." Nick smiles at him. He wants to take a picture right now, of this moment. Nick's not too sentimental about a lot, but Louis' smile is so big, so bright. sharp teeth and beautiful blue eyes that remind him of the blue raspberry Twizzler sticks that him and Louis ate last year after they had smoked a bowl in the middle on their living room.

 _Their_ shared living room, Nick reminds himself. Louis and him have an apartment, they're thinking of having babies. Babies. That's insane. Nick could have a child of his own by this time next year, and that's just. It's just.

"I love you," Louis finally says, "a lot. you're my favorite person in the whole world." His cheeks are tinted pink and he's looking at Nick like he did when Nick first told Louis he loved him. It makes him feel good, feels so good he could explode. He wants this, so bad. Wants to be a dad with the person that means the absolute world to him. For once in Nick's life, he feels like he's ready, ready to be a soccer dad with a white picket fence and a mini van, he's so ready. Nick reaches across the table to grab Louis fidgety hand and squeezes it, "let's have a baby, Baby."

*

Louis is quite sure there's an actual fire breathing dragon next to him when he wakes up the next morning. Not to mention that this particular fire breathing dragon has horrible morning breath.

"Nick," he mumbles, grabbing his pillow and hitting Nick in the stomach. He barely flinches, still snoring as loud as before. "Nick, seriously, the neighbors are gonna call a noise complaint because of your snoring."

Nick flips him off and moves so he's turned away from Louis, snuggling back into his pillow. He seriously, seriously doesn't want to wake up right now. Like he can think of a few thousand things he'd rather do. None of which require a lot of moving. 

Nick, even turned away from him, can actually hear Louis roll his eyes, but eventually after a loud, drawn out sigh, Louis pulls on Nick's shirt until Nick flips back over on his back and Louis curls on side, sleepy little face tucked carefully into Nick's neck, little warm puffs of air tickle behind his ear while both of them eventually drift off back to sleep.

They don't want up for another two hours. 

*

They don't fully wake until around noon. Slowly they come out of their sleep induced comas. Louis rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand and his dark eyelashes smudge against his skin. He's really, really beautiful. Nick knows this, reminds himself of it everyday, but sometimes it hits him so fast and so hard that it leaves him breathless. He can't get over it.

What he can get over though is finding Harry Styles sitting cross legged in the corner of their bedroom filing his nails with a look of concentration so fierce Nick thinks he's going to pop a blood vessel. 

"Harry, what the fuck are you doing here?" Louis finally says. He doesn't have pants on and Nick can't resist peeking under the covers to check out his bum. 

Harry has the actual nerve to gasp, clutching his chest like he's not the one that's broken into _their_ house and _their_ room and is sitting in the corner of _their_ bedroom filing his stupid bloody nails. "Haz, we gave you a key for emergencies. Why the bloody hell are you here?" Louis gets up and huffs in annoyance, bending over to find his briefs. Nick checks his bum out again and by the flush in Harry's cheeks he knows he did the same. 

"It _is_ an emergency though," Harry finally says, Nick's okay with not saying a word until someone gets him his morning coffee.

Louis gives him a look. The look Nick gets when he stops rubbing Louis back at night. It's quite a bone-chilling look that Nick could go his life without ever seeing it again.

Harry must think the same thing, because as soon as he looks up from filing his thumb, he turns pink, "I got kicked out of my apartment," he finally says, chewing on the side of his finger, "I, uh, couldn't pay my rent. Because I spent it on putting together this camping trip. So uhm, yeah. Jesy kicked me out. and like, I could stay with my mum, or Niall and Zayn. Or even Liam, but like. I don't know." He looks nervous now, almost on the verge of tears. Nick hates when Harry cries, but Louis hates it more.

"Oh Hazza, of course you can stay with us, long as you'd like." Louis says, the sickly sweet voice that gives Nick goosebumps, "Don't cry, Hazza Baby, it's alright." Louis walks over to Harry, crawling into his lap and nuzzling his face into Harry's neck like a baby kitten. Nick kindof realizes what having Harry stay over until he finds another place entails and is hit with an uneasy wave of nausea. He loves Harry, Harry's one of his best friends and he can talk to the lad for hours on end. But he's also, well, weird. Nick likes weird. All his friends are actually really fucking weird. And _he's_ weird. And Louis is also shockingly weird, but Harry does naked yoga at 6:30 in the morning everyday and he eats, like, cantaloupe. A lot. Nick's almost positive in the six years he's known him he actually hasn't been without fruit for more than an hour. Nick doesn't think cantaloupe is even a real fruit. And also the fact that Nick and Louis, just yesterday, talked about babies. miniature people. Children, for Christ's sake. Having Harry Styles, a big dumb baby himself, puts a small damper in their plans. 

  "Louis," Nick whispers, eyes bugged out of his head, "A word, really quick?" 

  Louis furrows his eyebrows together but accepts, walking toward the bathroom, and shutting it as soon as Nick enters. "Louis, yesterday. we talked about having a baby yesterday. Do you-are you sure you're okay with Harry staying? What if he doesn't find a place soon enough?" Nick's usually laid back about most things. But last night he spent at least two hours going through his list of names and deciding which one he liked best. He's excited, really excited. he planned on spending most of the day looking up adoption agencies, and now he's realizing that this may put a break in their plans.  Louis chews on his lip for a second, falling back against the bathroom door as it's locked shut, scrunching up his nose before looking back up at Nick, "Harry shouldn't put a damper on our plans," he says confidently, "it's fine, we're still gonna have a baby. With Harry or without. Okay? We can still have a baby. I don't- are you having second thoughts? Is that what this is?" Nick shakes his head before Louis can get his last words out, "No, not in the slightest. I'm, I'm so ready Lou, you don't even know."

   Louis grins at him, grabbing his fingers and lacing them between his own. He tips his head back against the wood and looks at Nick for a moment. Nick's tired and groggy, a long sleep like that usually does that to him. Louis goes on his toes, kisses Nick hard and fast and walks back out the door,

  "Hazza, we're having a baby." Louis yells.

  Harry cries for _hours_.

  *

  It's two months later when Nick lays Louis out on his stomach and holds him open, big hands on the swell of Louis' arse, little hole clenching and unclenching as Nick eats him out slowly and carefully, chin slick with spit, eyes closed and tongue pointed to a tip. Louis' sobbing, hands fisted in the sheets and back muscles tensing, his tanned skin shining with a thin layer of sweat. Nick _loves_ this, if he dies right now in between Louis cheeks he'll have lived a happy life. And he loves _Louis_ like this, completely, utterly, fantastically laid out, and it's _all_ for Nick. Tears down his face and his lips are red from all the biting he's been doing. He's wrecked, can barely form any words, and Nick can't get enough of him.

  "Tastes so sweet," Nick mumbles into the swell of Louis' bum. Louis whines in the back of his throat and clamps down on Nick's tongue when Nick works his way back in there. With one final broad lick up his hole, Louis absolutely loses it over himself, crying out and face planting back on this pillows. he's breathing heavily, covered in his own sweat and come, shaky and sweet and soft. 

  Nick crawls back up, fingers gently ghosting over Louis warm skin. Nick can see goosebumps rise all over his skin and gently flips him over on his back. Louis eyes are still closed and Nick takes the opportunity to wipe at the tears, grabbing a few tissues from the side of their bed and wiping down his stomach, cleaning him up. Louis is small and compact, fits perfectly in Nick's arms when Nick slots against him, fingers drumming against his chest and Nick's lips right by Louis' ear. It always takes a couple of minutes for Louis to get back from his hazy post orgasm. He's gentle and soft and sweet, such a contrast from how he is normally throughout the day, Nick _adores_ him like this, he's extra cuddly, won't let Nick leave his side, little hands clutching Nick like Nick's his lifeline. 

  Before Nick can get a word out, he feels Louis go lax in his arms, signaling that he's just passed the fuck out. Nick figured. 

  *

  Nick creeps out of their bedroom 16 minutes after Louis officially fell right asleep and didn't respond even after Nick dumped him from his arms. Nick's jittery, edgy, he can't just sit down and rest. Harry's still living with them, and Nick admits he's not the worst guest in the world. He cooks for them most nights and when he catches them having sex he always apologizes, leaves and makes sure in the kitchen there are water bottles and snacks because he doesn't want them to get dehydrated. He's actually, in all honesty, a massive help. Nick's shocked. Harry's a great a friend, a great _person_ but he doesn't always understand personal boundaries. 

  But Nick's just--he gets that it takes a year, sometimes more, to adopt a baby. But he wants one _now_. And he can't stop thinking about it. And he's stress eating now, so he's gained a little more muffin-top too. Fincy already has commented, on bloody radio, and when Nick and Louis fucked three mornings ago before Louis had to teach young minds about literature and such, Louis grabbed his love handle and mumbled "squishy" while sucking him off. Nick swears if he wasn't about to come he'd of lost his boner within seconds. 

  Louis comes down a little later wearing a pair of sweats he stole from Nick when they were first dating. They have holes everywhere but Louis absolutely refuses to throw them out.

     "Orientation is tomorrow" Louis says while reaching up to grab a bowl and a spoon. probably getting himself cereal because that's all he bloody eats. "For adoption. We figure out where we wanna go from there."

  "Hopefully to get a child," Nick says and he feels a spoon hit head, "Fuck!" Louis is giving him a look, "of course to get a child. do you think we're going there for free snacks?" 

  "Possibly, things like that usually have good lemonade and they _always_ have oreos."

  "You're an idiot."

  *

  It's 3 months after that when it kind-of hits them both. They're filling out a ton of paperwork, like, everyday. It seems like that's the only thing they do when they get home from work. Getting home inspections, it feels like at least once a week. Making sure they're actually fit to care for a child. They're not psyched about the idea of Nick and Louis not being married but the two of them might as well be, seeing as they've been together for four years and have only broken up for two days when Louis called Nick a fire breathing dragon for not remembering they had a date.

  But Louis is stressed and so is Nick and it feels like they're going against each other right now. Louis gets snappy when he's stressed and Nick gets extra sarcastic and right now it feels like they're butting heads. He doesn't want that, wants to enjoy this last year with just Louis. They have a family, a young mom and dad who don't have enough to raise their child. They've met with both of them and are experiencing this pregnancy with the two of them. It's exciting, it's incredible, but Nick can't help think there's something niggling at the back of Louis mind.

   It all comes to ahead a random Friday in November when Louis gets home from work. Nick's putting away the dishes, Harry's finally moved out so it means they've got a lot more house work to do and Louis doesn't do shit, so really it means Nick has got a lot of house work to do. It's cold outside, Nick's got a small cardigan on and a pair of black jeans and fuzzy green socks. So Nick feels the cold rush in when the door is opened. Louis is quiet when he comes in, not kissing him hello, or hugging him from behind and kissing Nick's neck like he usually does. Nick peeps in throw the kitchen and sees Louis looking tense and sharp, sitting in living room looking at the Television even though there's nothing on. 

  "I love that show," Nick jokes, putting the last spoon away. He watches Louis head snap, he looks angry and Nick's momentarily scared for a second before he realizes Louis the size of a golden retriever puppy. Although he is feisty, that one. He fights dirty. He _bites_ and not even the good kind-of biting. Okay, Nick admits, he's still a little frightened. 

  "Do you think you're funny?" Louis all but yells, his hands are fisted at his side, and he stands up, "Are you even taking any of this seriously? Like do you even care about this? Do you even want a kid? Or are you just doing this because you don't want to argue with me?"

  Nick's stunned in silence, literally he can't physically speak or move or even think properly. He knows Louis, knows Louis turns it around on people when he's feeling insecure and vulnerable. Nick knows he doesn't _actually_ feel this way, but it's hard not to feel a little shocked.

  "Hm, figured, can't even say anything," Louis says, he crosses his arms and makes his way into their bedroom, not giving Nick a second glance.

   Nick finally shakes himself and follows him into the bedroom, shutting the door quietly.

  "If you actually think for one second I'm not taking any of this seriously, then I think you've lost your goddamn mind. I've started baby proofing this whole house, that's why it took you so long to get into the cereal cupboard last night. I've barely been able to sleep because I've been so excited. Are you okay?" Nick finally asks, "is there something wrong? Because you know me and you know that I'm taking this seriously, don't pull this bullshit where you take things out on me because you're upset. I've known you for five years and loved you for four, don't try to do this." Nick comes to sit next to him. manhandling him so he's cuddled against Nick's chest. Louis goes without complaint, snuggles into Nick and hold onto him for dear life. He's _sad_ , Louis is upset and Nick would do just about anything to make him feel better.

  "Leigh Anne lost her baby last week, had a miscarriage. Hasn't been back to work since," Louis mumbles into Nick's armpit, so quiet Nick almost has to make him repeat it. Nick pets his hair, "I'm sorry, sweetheart." Nick kisses the top of his head, snuggling him closer to his chest, "you okay? How's Leigh Anne?" Louis is close with a lot of his coworkers, but Leigh Anne in particular. She's the same age as Louis and they make fun of the older employees at lunch. 

  "Just feels like, I don't know. So many possibilities. Like they could decide they want to keep their baby and we've been getting ready for nothing. There are _so_ many possibilities. And I have control over nothing. I _hate_ not having control. I hate it. I actually hate telling you this because I feel like I don't even have control of this situation. They could lose the baby. They could decide we're not fit parents all of the sudden. It's just. It's a lot. And I just can't help but feel like everything is gonna come shitting down on us." Louis takes a breath, like he had to get it out before he second guessed himself, "We've had such good luck so far, you know?" He looks at Nick now, "Something sucky and awful is going to happen, it's bound to happen." Nick can tell Louis' been crying, eyes red-rimmed and glassy.

  "Sweetheart, just because we've had good luck doesn't mean something bad is going to happen. You can't think like that. But even if something happens, no matter what, me and you are going to have a baby. _That_ to me, is inevitable. We can have six babies if you want. Eight babies. Ten babies. We can have ten babies! Think about it, ten little me and you's. They're gonna be the funniest little kids, you know? And I'll be the best dad, too. You'll be alright," Louis pinches his side, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. you'll be wonderful. you'll be such a good dad that I won't be able to shut up about you," Louis finally cracks a smile, looks at Nick and says, "You really think so?" 

  "Yeah," Nick strokes his cheek and looks at the picture on Louis bedside table, Louis on Nick's shoulders, Nick's laughing hysterically while Louis arms are wrapped around Nick's head. Nick looks absolutely terrible in the picture. The first time he saw it he demanded it be deleted. Louis insisted that it be printed out and put in a picture frame. Louis won, Louis _always_ wins, but Nick's alright with it. It's one of his favorite pictures now, not like he'll ever tell anyone. 

  "It's gonna be great."

  *

  Harry Styles is a ridiculous human being. Nick's figured this out a long time ago. Probably within the first hour of meeting him. Doesn't mean he still isn't shocked at just _how_ ridiculous he actually is.

   "I figured my future god child could use it!" He's _actually_ defending himself. Nick _actually_ can't believe he's apart of this conversation. 

"Harry, they're horse back riding lessons. You do realize we're adopting an infant, correct?" Nick's got a headache and Harry's been here for 15 minutes. If Louis weren't at work he'd probably pop a blood vessel.

  "Semantics, Nick. Not important." Harry waves him off.

  "Just because you got our future son or daughter horseback riding lessons, it doesn't make you the Godfather. You do realize this, yes? We have Stan, Niall, my brother, Zayn, Liam, Henry. You are not our only friend. Just because you're over here every bleeding day even after you moved out doesn't automatically make you Godfather." Nick's done with this conversation. Louis and Nick already decided Harry's going to be Godfather, but it's quite hilarious watching Harry bend over backwards for this baby that's not even bloody here yet. Nick likes getting the baby jumpers, last week Harry brought over a jumper with Dr. Dre printed on it. Nick cried. 

  Nick hears the door open and close and shoes being thrown off probably in the middle of their foyer even though there's a shoe basket directly next to the door. What follows is a very loud sigh and a bag being dropped to the floor, "Hazza, why the hell are you always here?" 

  Nick answers before Harry can get a word out, "He gave our future child horseback riding lessons because he thinks it a great idea" Nick says, flipping the page of his magazine, making a mental note to ask Louis if he wants a white crib. The one he's looking at is darling. It has little pastel sea animals painted on the edge of the crib. Nick's in _love_. 

  "Should we tell him, Nick?" Louis asks, settling himself next to Nick, kissing him hello and giving him a look that says, _lets tell Harry he's going to be the Godfather before he buys out Disney World just to make this kid happy_. Nick nods his head once, turns to Harry and at the same time they both say, "You're the Godfather." Nick and Louis actually have gotten quite good at saying this simultaneously. It's one of their many, many party tricks the two of them have perfected. 

  Harry looks like he's seconds from falling over, "Seriously? I--you chose chose me. Oh my god." Jesus Christ. He's crying. Like actually sobbing. They both get up and hug him. The three of them are standing in the middle of Louis and Nick's kitchen in a group hug, and all of them are crying. 

  Ridiculous. Harry brings it out in them. 

  *

  The couple giving Nick and Louis their baby have requested a close adoption. Not that Nick's overly surprised or anything. He figures if he was their age he'd be the same way. She's 8 months pregnant, on bed rest, and Nick physically can't sit still for a total of three minutes. He can't stop blabbering about his _baby_ no radio. Although no one seems to mind. No one's seem him this excited about anything in a really, really long time. 

  It's a boy, and when Louis told Nick, Nick cried for what felt like a full day. They stood in their living room, Nick with a towel slung low on his hips and Louis still with his jacket, hat and scarf on, and hugged for a really, really long time. They haven't been able to stop smiling since. 

  A boy, their own boy. Louis has already bought a miniature football and made their backyard into a miniature football field. Nick's insistent that he should be allowed to do whatever he pleases. And if sports doesn't fit into that category but dresses and dolls do, than Louis will accept it. _Right, Louis?_ he'll say when Louis is seemingly ignoring him. Louis rolls his eyes, looking at Nick before saying, "Obviously Nick, I'm just teaching all my children the importance of a good footie match."

   Nick's especially about tonight though, has been since he started planning their weekend getaway, as he likes to call it. In reality it's a long weekend away in Ibiza. The sun and the beach and the pool and a lot, a lot of sex. Nick loves sex, loves blow jobs and dicks and sex, but he especially loves sex with _Louis_. Loves Louis' dick and loves his tight arse and his bum and his little body. Love his mouth and his thighs and his little hands that fit so perfectly around Nick's cock. 

  And he's going to _miss_ it. Miss all of it. He knows that he'll still be able to see Louis' body and touch Louis' body but he's not an idiot, and he knows that having a kid is going to _change_   That's why he's going to make the best out of this weekend. 

  *

  "Louis,"

  Nick waits.

  "Louis,"

  Nick waits. 

  "Louis,"

  Nothing. 

  "Louis,"

  This time he gets a little closer to Louis' face, maybe he'll wake up this time. He's trying to be nice, but he's hard and it's their last night here.

  "Louis, Louis, Louis," He starts chanting. He crawls under the covers and digs his head into Louis' belly. Louis grumbles and shoves at his head, "geroff" he mumbles, pulling at Nick's hair until Nick's face to face with him. Louis is sleepy and soft and he looks _exhausted_. Nick's fucked him upside and sideways this vacation and he's almost 100% sure he's lost at least 12 pounds.

  He kisses Nick, pecking him on the lips and gripping his bum, little fingers digging into his cheeks. Nick quirks an eyebrow at him and Louis grins.

  They don't get up for a long time. 

  * 

  Nick loves Louis' friends. He does, he promises. Niall is hilarious and always, always laughs at Nick's jokes even when they're not particularly funny. He also loves starting arguments with people at the bar, which Nick thinks is hysterical as long as he doesn't get involved. Zayn's on the quiet side, but makes fun of Louis almost as much as Nick does and always helps Nick out when Louis is angry at him and Nick has no bleeding idea as to why that could be. And Liam, well Liam is Liam. He's gentle and loving and made Nick brownies last week because he spilt tea on his new carpet. 

  And Harry doesn't really even count as Louis' friend. He's just a wobbling piece of play dough that wears headbands and is always in their living room.

  So yes, Nick loves them. Loves them to pieces and really would do anything for them. Sometimes Nick would rather hangout with them then his own friends. But the five of them together are a bit like wild hyenas. And the five of them trying to build a crib is a bit like an absolute disaster. 

  "Louis, Jesus Christ you don't put that there," Thank God for Liam, honestly, Nick things. Because really without him the baby would be sleeping on their dog bed. "I'm pretty sure that's not even apart of the crib, where the hell did you even find that?" Liam looks about as tired as Nick feels. Spending three hours with the five of them will do that to you. 

  Louis isn't even listening to him, is actually blatantly ignoring Liam and having a sword fight with Niall. And by the looks of it, he's winning. Niall isn't even trying. 

  They have like, one week until this baby born. Actually, in reality, the could get the call any day. Nick is terrified. Happy, excited, nervous, fully bricking it. And infuriatingly so, it it seems like Louis has gotten more and more calm with each day that comes. 

  it's just, Nick can barely sleep. Hours on end he's awake and considering what couple happen. Going through the list of horrible things that could happen to louis or himself or to _the baby_. Jesus Christ. He can--He's always been a worrier. He doesn't outwardly show that side of himself but Nick he can't help it. Nick loves with his full, entire self. Doesn't do love half-arsed. And if he loves someone like he's going to love this baby, he wants to protect it with everything he's got. Even if his scrawny arms and legs don't do much. 

  And it almost feels like they're not ready. Louis is the picture of serenity. Laughing with his friends and smiling over at Nick on the rare occasion. He's calm and collected and he's so _happy_. It doesn't feel like, in the slightest, he's nervous whatsoever. And it almost makes Nick angry, he _wants_ Louis to be nervous and scared, wants to feel like he's not alone in this. They don't even have a name picked out. They're going to call him "baby boy" until they can finally agree on a name. Nick likes the name Caleb and Louis likes the name James. Nick suggested Caleb James and Louis threw a grape at his head. They both decided that when they see the baby, they'll know. That a name will come to both their minds and that'll be it. Nick's like, 710% sure that's not actually going to work, but he doesn't want to push anything considering he's about three minutes from passing out due to stress and lack of sleep. 

  "You okay?" Louis' voice shakes him from his thoughts, two arms wrap around his middle and Louis buries his head in the center of Nick's chest, "you've been staring at the wall for 10 minutes." 

  Nick hadn't actually realized he'd done that, he's been spacing out more and more each day "You okay?" Louis voice shakes him from his thoughts, two arms wrap around his waist and Louis buries his head in the middle of Nick's chest, "you've been staring at a wall for 10 minutes." Nick hadn't actually realized he'd done that, he's been spacing out more and more. Louis says it's because he's going senile. Nick resents that. 

  "Fine," he says shortly. Nick and Louis two years ago established this thing where they "talk" about their feelings since for the first two years of their relationship, their fights usually ended with Harry having to get in the middle of it and Harry _always_ cries, so they spared him. But Nick can't talk right now, considering there are 4 toddlers wrestling in the middle of his bloody living room. Zayn has Niall in a headlock and Harry's on Liam's back. HE glances at Louis, and Louis looks at him. He hopes he can make a look with his eyes that say, _lets talk about this later_. Louis nods, twists his nipple, and goes back to his friends. 

  *

  Two hours later and half a pantry gone, Louis is laying on top of Nick with his head buried in Nick's neck. Keeping up with the Kardashians is on and it's the episode where Kourtney and Scott find a rat in their new house so Nick is quite intrigued. He almost doesn't hear Louis' soft voice in his ear, "Babe?" he asks quietly, Nick turns his head is surprised to see Louis' face look gentle, sweet, beautiful. "Yeah?" Nick turns his head fully now, eyes locked on Louis', "What's up?" he says, resting his hand on Louis' lower back. 

  Louis looks at him for a bit, brows furrowed. Nick smooths his forehead out with a thumb and Louis grins at him, "Are you okay?" he finally asks, looking concerned and vulnerable and so, so beautiful that Nick's heart is about to burst open. _Four years_ he thinks to himself. He still feels this way, properly obsessed. 

  "Nervous, scared, bloody bricking it," Nick answers, feeling a little relieved now that he's said it out loud. Louis looks a little relieved himself, "Same," he finally says. Nick's genuinely shocked that he agrees, but doesn't mention it.

  They stay like that for a couple more moments before Louis mumbles something into his chest, Nick can't quite hear him, "Wassat?" he asks, eyes focused back on the Television.

  "Excited though, right?" Louis sounds a little nervous, and Nick's 100% certain his bottom lip is being gnawed on by his sharp teeth.

  "So excited," Nick answers, squeezing Louis a bit tighter than before. Nick can feel Louis smile even though he won't let Nick see. 

  "Same," Louis finally says. 

  Nick's going to be a father in a week, he's got the love of his life curled next to him, and he can't stop smiling.

  It's going to be _so_ good. 

  *

  They get the call at 3 in the morning. 

  Nick's dead asleep. It's actually painful to open his eyes, he feels a little like he's waking up from some sleep induced coma. He's not even sure _why_ he's so tired. He went to bed at a fairly decent time last night after two athletic rounds of sex. 

  He looks over at the clock next to his bed and realizes that it's three in the bloody morning. Now he knows why. His phone won't stop ringing though, and Louis keeps hitting him in the arm and mumbling "get yer fukin phone you bloody idiot". Nick answers it before he can even register _why_ someone's calling him at 3 in the morning.

  *

  Louis won't stop shaking his leg.

  "Stop shaking your leg" Nick rests his hand on Louis leg and squeezes it gently. "We can do this." Nick says. Louis whips his head around and glares at him,

  "Thanks for the pep talk! I really appreciate it!" Louis gives him a big, fake, sarcastic smile and looks back out the window. Nick rolls his eyes. It's drizzling a bit, the roads are slick and he can feel the wind blowing against his car. There's a flicking streetlight next to him while he's waiting at a light and he's agitated by it. It's actually driving him a little bit insane staring at it. He wants to jump out of his skin, he has to force himself not to think about the little boy waiting for him and Louis at the hospital.

  He's so excited. 

  Nick doesn't say anything to Louis, just removes his hand from Louis' leg and focuses back on the road, trying to suppress the stupid, stupid smile that's about to take over his face.

  He's not doing such a good job. 

  "Sorry," Louis says, "Really. I'm just nervous". And he looks it, too. His hands are bunched up at his sides and there's a furrow between his brows. Nick goes to smooth it out again. He smiles at Louis, and says, "We're going to be parents." 

  It's Louis turn to smile now, "Yeah," he says, "we are. The best parents."

  "The best." Nick agrees, "Who could have better, more stable parents than us?" 

  Louis lets out a little laugh. He turns back to the window for a bit, it's silent between the two of them as the light flickers green and Nick starts driving again. He finally looks at Nick again, eyes a little watery, "I'm so excited" he finally says, grabbing Nick's hand and intertwining their fingers. 

  Nick grins so wide that he can actually feel the wrinkles on his face. 

  "Me too." 

  *

  Their baby is beautiful.

  Nick's not surprised. Of course his baby is beautiful. He gets that it's technically not their genes or anything, but any child of Nick's was bound to be absolutely stunning.

  He's stunning.

  He's got hazel eyes and a button nose, red, red lips that rival Harry Styles. He's got little tufts of hair at the top of his head but for the most part his head is mostly covered with these tiny little baby hairs. His ears are so tiny and so soft, pudgy little baby skin and little hands that keep grabbing onto Nick's.

  Nick can't believe it. 

  Louis started crying the first time he saw him. Nick cried the first time he held him, and wouldn't let go until Louis pried the baby out of his hands.

  They take him home the next day considering as far as any Doctor can see, he's completely healthy. They strap him in his carseat, fit with the little dangly toys babies love. Nick thinks he would like them too above his head before he sleeps but he's not exactly sure Louis would go for a thing like that above their bed.

  Louis sits in the back with their baby while Nick drives home. He can hear Louis' soft voice talking to their baby. He's telling him about the dog they share together, a big golden retriever that rarely moves unless he smells food. He tells him about their friends and how Aunt Pixie is _crazy_ and how Aunt Aimee has colorful hair that he'll probably love to pull on. He tells him about Niall and Zayn and Liam and how he can't wait for them to meet his baby. He tells him about his godfather, and how even though he's weird and once thought it was a good idea to get his lip pierced, he's the best person he'll ever meet. He tells him about his mom and his dad and all his sisters. He tells him all about Nick's family and how lovely they are.

  He talks the whole 25 minutes home. All about their life, and how perfectly their baby will fit into it. 

  *

  The first week, to put it gently, is _rough_. Nick's pretty sure they've had three hours of sleep this whole week, and that's possibly being generous. Their baby is fussy, and he's getting used to his surroundings. Everyone's told them, engrained in their brains that _it's not going to be easy, especially the first couple of weeks_ and Nick understands that. He does, he promises. But that doesn't make it any less difficult. 

  But they're trying, together. They are tired and cranky and a little bit snappy with each other but it's okay, because before they go to bed each night they look at their baby boy who still doesn't have a name yet and realize how scary but how fucking wonderful it is to have this sweet, beautiful baby in their arms. 

  The first two weeks are all about settling. Both of their families come over and see the baby. Short little stops that don't last longer than a couple of hours. They're still getting used to it, it's not something that necessarily comes naturally to every person. Louis is definitely better at soothing the baby, he realizes off the bat. But Nick's getting better. 

  The first time Harry comes over he actually has to leave the room for ten minutes because he can't stop crying. Nick's not necessarily sure why considering it's not his bloody kid, but nonetheless Harry holds him like it's his own. 

  "I'm going to steal him," Harry says while he's rocking the baby in his arms, "I'm going to steal him and he's going to live with me. He's the cutest thing I've ever seen." Harry says, his eyes are brimming with tears again. 

  Louis snorts, "Harry you do realize you live on Niall's couch, right?" Harry gives him daggers and goes back to holding him. 

  "So, have you guys thought of a name yet?" He says, settling back against the cushions and adjusting the baby so his head is against his chest, "I mean, calling him "baby" isn't going to last forever, right?" 

  Louis shrugs and looks at Nick, "Still not sure yet, we thought we'd look at him and we'd know. But nothings come to mind."

  "He's an Oliver." Harry says, his eyes don't move from the babies face, his grin so wide that it takes up his whole face, "Definitely an Oliver."

  Nick considers it for a moment, looks at Louis and finds that Louis is already looking at him. They have a silent conversation for a few moments before Louis nods, "Okay."

  "Okay?" Harry looks up, "Really?" He says. Louis nods again, and smiles, "I like it, I think it fits him." 

  "Oliver James Tomlinson-Grimshaw", Nick finally says, "I like it."

  _the end._

**Author's Note:**

> nicholasandpig.tumblr.com


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